World of Shadna

my Thoughts | entry 3

2009-08-14T18:58:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting in Montgomery Lee Fine Art in Park City. Outside a woman with a voice of soul sings with a live band on the patio of some bar. A sax echos her cries and stirs an emotion in me that I cannot ignore... it says this is life; a mix of pain and desire, breath and blood. So, I write it down so that I don't forget (as if one could).

I've enjoyed covering the shifts at this gallery. My life is drawn back to the world of art and I hope that it finds a place in it soon. I've ended my time at Halus. Freedom is finally entering the life of the owners (though it may not be visible to them) as they've found someone to lease the space that Halus occupies.

And so another chapter of my life ends and I'm feeling much like the lone traveler in Robert Frost's "The Road Not Taken". Only in my state there are several roads in front of me and I have to pause to consider them all. None of which include partnership or love... I suppose that road will come later. No, it seems I'm at a point of setting a clear path for my career. My hope is to pursue one while allowing room for the others to grow. I have applied at several galleries (including the one I currently sit in) and at the UMFA. I feel drawn to at least find a job that will boost my resume and allow me to rid myself of debt and dependancy. That leaves me wondering if I'd be giving up my passion and visions. It will be a delicate balance of my time to ensure that I don't neglect my creativity and pursuit of full independence.

Where does one go from here? Will the opportunity and path I seek open up to me or will I be left in a worse state than I am now? That's my fear. That's always been my fear. But, I don't let it rule me and I continue to pursue what I like in my many selected ways.

-S

my Thoughts | entry 2

2009-06-07T08:57:00.000-07:00

Waking up this morning. It seems things are just as foggy as before. My life is in a type of web that i try to untangle and seperate but keeps sticking together. A bit frustrating.

Desire, love, friendship, work, money, creation... What am i creating? Or perhaps the better question is, what can i not create? What are my decisions going to be as time progresses towards more seperations, unions, reunions, failures, and successes?

i fear my present more than my past or future. i look ahead with a security of mind that everything goes it's course and that the story will always be looked upon with fondness by me as i do so now looking at the past. However, in the present i experience so many desires and oportunities that i fear i'm loosing what i try to gain... i don't want to loose. i don't want to posess either. So, how do i seize these things which ellude me?

my Poems | entry 5

2009-02-26T15:29:00.000-08:00

What moves a cloud?

What causes it to rain?

To wet the earth with her tears... nourishing all below?

She arouses their potential... causing them to grow.

As if weeping awakens the slumbering life...

ethereal Experiences | entry 001

2009-02-21T14:33:00.000-08:00

Throughout life, mine and I imagine most of our lives, there occur strange experiences during the night. By strange I mean that which seems to us real however, turns out to be less tangible... ethereal. The most intriguing of which is the vision or sense of another person in the room with you. Though I won't limit my dialogue to that which happens during the night, I will begin with one such experience.

Last night I had my sleep interrupted by the presence of a woman. Lacking any physical presence she made it impossible to escape. I can't say for certain who she was but her energy was strong and tangible. Oddly enough, I remember vividly that I could smell flowers... can't place the scent. Perhaps a perfume of some kind? Also, she was young... twenties or thirties. A sense of familiarity yet, she remained out of reach. Hidden, like a dream when waking... you try to grasp it and it slips away further and further.

She was connecting to me (or was it I to her?) on a metaphysical level. That is to say I could feel her throughout my body. In my chest, through my back, in my hands... in my lungs... my breath. Haunting me, she kept me awake and there was really nothing that I could do lying there.

So, I got up and went into the kitchen. The clock on the stove read 3:33 am. A sign? Perhaps this was not an illusion but, rather something real. I opened the refrigerator and had some grapefruit juice. Shock my system a bit... yes, perhaps that would help? Putting the juice away I turned out the kitchen light and went back to my bed. She was there... waiting. So, resigning myself I laid down, I closed my eyes and let her stay. Eventually slipping away into sleep and waking up for work the next day.

Connections... they are an interesting thing, no?

my Poems | entry 4

2009-02-12T14:05:00.000-08:00

like Adam

the dawning of her breath

upon the chambers of the heart

invoked life

to that which had fallen silent

so, lowering my head before her

i let life flow through these halls

and held out a hand

that echoed Eve's desire

responses monitored

transfered in charts

to the pharmacist

who provides the prescriptions

that allow sanity of mind

in the asylum of emotion

as though a body lies

in some sterile corridor

in some lysol laced room

comatose...

a machine beeps

closely monitoring the condition...

a machine pumps

breathing for lungs unmoved...

the lifeless lying body

______________________

As you might have guessed, this poem was written based off of two ideas that seem to be very different and create a sudden chop after the second stanza. However, the ideas are related and the sudden shift provides a clear process of emotion to thought to emotion and so on. The first is directly related to the emotions experienced by new love(?) or at least the connection felt between two people. The second part is about the value of living. I'll leave the poem to explain the rest.

my Films | back to the start

2009-02-06T11:02:00.001-08:00

Back to the Start from Shadna on Vimeo.

The Prophet | Kahlil Gibran

2009-02-05T16:41:00.000-08:00

The following is an exerpt from "The Prophet". It is a discourse on Love and Marriage/Relationships. I find it to be very moving as it presents the way in which love thrives between people through the concepts of individuality and self love. I begin it here after a brief diatribe on souls being together and how the love between souls exists beyond the physical. As we are born, as we live, as we die and throughout eternity...

"...let there be spaces in your togetherness,

And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:

Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.

Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.

Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,

Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.

For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

And stand together yet not too near together:

For the pillars of the temple stand apart,

And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow."

poetry | entry 001

2009-02-03T07:21:00.000-08:00

Revelation | Robert Frost

We make ourselves a place apart

Behind light words that tease and flout,

But oh, the agitated heart

Till someone find us really out.

'Tis pity if the case require

(Or so we say) that in the end

We speak the literal to inspire

The understanding of a friend.

But so with all, from babes that play

At hide-and-seek to God afar,

So all who hide too well away

Must speak and tell us where they are.

videos | Asa & Brigitte

2008-12-29T10:27:00.000-08:00

Here are some great videos that I recently found of my my niece and nephew from 4 years ago. They were from a walk we took when I was babysittting in Ogden... They bring a smile to my face :)

Asa being Spider-Man with Brigitte playing music...

Asa stealing a kiss from Brigitte...

Brigitte the Ballerina (in Flower Poses) blows a kiss this time with no stealing from Brother...

Finding a Plum...

Brigitte pawns off an umbrella to chase the camera while Asa wishes that I had a car...

my Poems | entry 3

2008-12-22T16:38:00.000-08:00

with limits of your hands

your ears,

your lips,

your eyes...

you try to penetrate the peppered veil

with no replies...

your ancient soul escapes you

as you seize

this world with scientific

remedies

where do you expect to go

in such a state?

finding peace in chaos

comes too late...

home of 'i' | Update

2008-12-22T14:56:00.000-08:00

Over the past couple of days I've modified the 3D design a bit and here are a few pictures.

You'll notice that the wings are shaped more in to a block structure. This design is revisiting the original that I sketched out which, going back to, I decided to prefer, as it gives a sense of foundation and strength. The darker color/material of these provides a balanced yet stark contrast of individual and society.

Any thoughts?

main | Structure

2008-12-20T19:23:00.001-08:00

Here are some early renderings of the main structure. The side walls are missing as I continue to construct the four floors. However, this gives you a good idea of where I'm going. Also, the side walls will be mainly glass offering the occupant natural lighting for less power consumption during the day.

The dimensions are 15' wide x 60' deep x 50' tall. Notice that the stair cases alternate sides on every floor. This is done so that the occupant travels through the entire house as often as possible. Yes, that can be exhausting, however, it's good for the body and for the soul.

If I should loose the use of legs the design would be modified for an elevator shaft on one side throughout.

a Home | for 'i'

2008-12-20T13:51:00.000-08:00

While studying up on Modern Architecture and exploring the work and concepts of Frank Lloyd Wright, I was hit with unescapable inspiration to design a home for the individual (more specifically this individual). I started sketching out a few ideas and one concept really struck me... 'i'...

'i' conception requires the following (my opinion): artistic original design, sized for the use of one person (with room for company/guests), completely sustainable and independent from city grids of power, water and gas.

Along with these requirements I wanted to make it personal and unique to my self and the things that I connect with.

I have early sketches and concepts that I'll be posting later this week. For now, all I was able to do was pick up Google SketchUp 7 and create this quick 3D model for you to view. Though not nearly complete, this gives you a very basic idea of the concept. Allow me to explain the design...

First you will notice that the main structure is rectangular with the front and back ends forming the lower-case 'i'. This is a symbol for the individual and is very fitting. This structure has a roof top garden (not shown) with a single tree. The tree represents knowledge, nurturance, giving, and growth. More personally, it represents my soul connection to trees and my love for poetry and art.

Second, notice the arch formed by the two structures on the sides of the main structure. This represents the earth, society, groups, etc. Notice that the 'i' emerges from this and moves towards the sky. These structures also contain gardens used for rain water collection and something to see as you look out the main window. These platform gardens represent the earth and sustenance. Those things which society has created allowing for the rise of individualism.

Third, (not shown) is a stream that will flow through the arch ways. This will represent the ocean as a symbol of where we come from as well as a reminder that the universe is in constant motion and ever changing.

Finally, the finished project will have much more visible greenery/vegetation with over-hanging ivy and tall grasses.

If you're wondering about creating energy, I haven't quite figured out the best option (geothermal? solar? wind? water?) to use on a personal level without reliance on large energy providers.

What do you think? Any thoughts or suggestions?

presenting | my Niece

2008-12-15T15:24:00.000-08:00

I've posted this on MySpace a few months ago and thought I'd share it here as well. I'm really proud of her work as a musician and I think that you'll enjoy this song. Her name is Marie Bradshaw and you can get more info about her on her site www.MarieBradshaw.com

Cheers!

my Poems | entry 2

2008-12-15T10:00:00.000-08:00

12.15.08

religions,

groups

fall apart

people fleein'

from the ark

standin' sittin'

in the dark

who's delicate

and silent part

echoed in

streets of new york

his separation

pleadin'

in a world of thieves,

no body comes

no body leaves

fallin' off

their dyin' trees

mystic tunes

melodies

groups of hearts

groups that grieve

separated his meditation

lays a head

upon the ground

all gets lost

all gets found

thinks about

the soulful mound

icy body

scarcely found

the water of

her beauty sound

meditating his isolation

twisting turning

in the night

held it close

to fire light

shapes and forms

sought his sight

flame escaped

left to write

words that none

could ever fight

isolating his frustration

sitting alone

beating heart

builds another

less crowded ark

guided by

new found apart

of 'i' and 'you'

begin to start

independent

of new york

frustrated his temptation

my Art | entry 1

2008-12-11T17:07:00.000-08:00

incomplete | 02.08

an | introduction

Since my birth I was destined to draw. Though life is filled with memories, my fondest and earliest seem to be related directly to art.

The power of art is exceptionally strong and can be very influential. The first time I experienced this, I was probably 6 years old (+/- 2 yrs.). I was upset at one of my five sisters (some reason that I don't recall) and drew a vicious picture of her as a monster with lots of red and black lines, bulging eyes and teeth bared. I felt so frustrated and it was a great attack on her on paper that made me feel as though I was releasing all that was frustrated inside me. When I was finished I felt horrible about the drawing and hoped she would never see it... though now I wish I still had it.

It was at this moment that I saw how much of the soul of the artist is transfered from the ethereal realm to the physical one and somehow forms a bridge between them. From that point on I would pick books up at the library that were focused on artists. The earliest influences were Da Vinci, Michaelangelo, Rapheal, Monet, Picasso, Rothko, and Pollock. I was inspired by their work but, soon found that studying them interfered with my creation and honest expression. So, I stopped looking and began expressing.

Never one to be very prolific, I saw art as a personal journey that comes and goes as my soul feels the need. You can't force a painting or drawing into existence, just as you cannot force love, anger, pain, or joy. Art is my emotion. As this blog is a way for me to share myself with you, I'll be sharing my past pieces with you and you can perhaps gain more insight into who I am.

about | this piece

My most recent painted work is the above piece. It's a work that was intended to be something quite different when started. The story begins in New York City as I had gone with my sisters Trixi and Lynette. Lynette was being honored at the Ellie Wiesel Foundation for Humanity for a paper she had written on human torture titled: "Torture: The Bleeding of Universal Human Rights".

During the trip I had the opportunity to visit The Met and view the works of Dutch masters in art from the Rembrandt exhibit. The technique and skill involved in these pieces were so inspiring and powerful (especially Vermeer and Rembrandt) that I had to try my hand at it. As I got home I began with an idea for a self portrait in the style of Rembrandt. I researched techniques online and felt confident that I could do a decent job of implementing them. And so I began!

I had a 2,800 square foot gallery at the time and spent all of my time there. It allowed me the room to set up a small area in which I could create. I began painting (strictly with oils) and focused on creating an underpainting. Letting oils dry is very time consuming especially when working with layers. So, the painting while in progress was available for all to see that came in the gallery.

Eventually I got to a point where people would stop and ask me about the piece. I'd tell them what I was doing and they would tell me to leave it the way it was. Tempted to listen, I was determined to finish the painting. However, as time wore on, my heart became restless. I looked at the painting and began to sense something escaping onto the canvas. It couldn't be helped. So, I wiped off the layer I had been working on. As I wiped the paint smeared and it felt good to see that. Something took hold of me and I picked up a pen! I started to sketch right onto my painting! I was nervous but, at the same time exhilarated by the freedom of my abandonment... I smudge the ink as it would dry. I'd let go of my mind and allow my hand to take control... the pen dancing across a face that was my own... it's intoxicating to draw on one's own face... try it some time.

I stopped. And in the stopping I felt an impulse to continue on... but, restrained myself. Taking a breath and stepping back I read my painting and the message began to reveal itself...

'incomplete'

abandoned...

2008-12-10T16:59:00.000-08:00

image courtesy of www.rightreading.com/

Nearly five years ago I stopped writing poetry... relinquishing a part of me that I had come to feel was ungrounded and useless. However, while walking to work today my mind came back to the poetic center it used to hold and my thoughts we're overcome with poetic rhythms that filled a part of me I forgot was there. So, here I sit ready to explore that part and speak my soul...

_____________________________

12.10.08

abandoning pen

abandoned paper

looking for someone

who never really mattered

left me in the middle

the sea began drainin'

turned dry as a desert

and the earth began smokin'

took off my shirt

as my body was achin'

took off my shoes

as my feet kept on wanderin'

took out my eyes

to see i was missin'

but my skin weighed on heavy

as my body was breakin'

so i put on my mind

'cuz i thought that it might matter

found out that to one

was the lonesomest number

while perceiving its truth

i saw that it mattered

and sea began to fill

up with salt water

bitter and sweet

memories came to me

leaving off shoes and shirt

i floated out to sea

found out that to one

was the wholesomest number

abandoning pen

reunited with paper

My latest...

2008-11-25T18:17:00.000-08:00

For those of you interested in my work to promote Cosmopolitanism in politics visit my other blog The Cosmopolitician to read my latest article.

I've agreed with my sister Lynette to begin our posts on the issues involving women. My current treatment is that of Women's liberation as it relates to perpetual peace and cosmo-politics. Lynette will be following up shortly with her own treatise relating to similar issues about women and we can all look forward to much more educated and intellectual discourse.

Cheers,

Interesting experiences...

2008-11-14T18:06:00.000-08:00

The other night, after a long night at the gallery, I was riding down the street on my bike when some kid in a red truck yells out, "Keep the 'Hipster' dream alive!"... ... ... What? What does that mean? Was he being rude? Was he being sincere? Should I be offended or proud? I didn't know what he meant so, I went online and looked up hipster. It didn't help. In the 40's it was cool... ya' know? And today its a pejorative term for white middle-class 18-34 year olds that dress unconventionally and have no philosophy by which they stand. So what did he mean? I don't know. So, let's look at both.

If he was trying to insult me he would have been judging me and that's no real way to insult someone. Besides, insulting someone only demeans your selfness and keeps you in a state of fear, thus perpetuating the False Individual among you and your friends.

However, if he was trying to complement me or the Hipster ideal, then that's totally cool. I dig it man. But, your words are no good if you're driving around in a gas guzzling truck and wasting all of your money on insurance and repairs when you could be using that money to better your selfness and the world...

Peace.

| What Do I Want? |

2008-11-14T16:52:00.000-08:00

After a day/week of incredible energy blocking my abundance and progressive path, I've decided that I should probably get clear on what I want and where I'd like my life to go...

Keeping in mind my path of individuality I envision the following for my more immediate future (6 months to a year):

Develop my career as a freelance designer and fine art dealer making about $150K-$300K a year (I don't think that I'd ever need more than that... if I made more I'd use it for charity work and assisting those suffering from severe poverty). This doesn't have to take place in any certain location as I've freed myself from those boundaries with the advent of the internet.
Begin the process of purchasing a loft.
Contribute to humanity through The Cosmopolitician as a blog and a publication. This includes national recognition, interviews with world leaders, discussion with great thinkers, and so on...
Explore the various places that I'd like to live for a while. This includes New York (again), California (again), France, Sweden, Switzerland, Greece, and Italy. Obviously, the time that it would take to visit all of these within the year would interfere with other items on this list, so even if I can only visit 2 or 3 places that will suffice.
I'd like to own a sail boat... maybe not this year but, certainly in the future...
I should see a dentist and get my teeth in prime condition... for what? I don't really know... I just feel like it would be a good idea...

That's it I think... isn't this clear? I don't know if I could be more clear... certainly, I'm observing and watching these visions manifest... I'll update you in a year to see where I stand...

Cheers!

| The Individual | Our Earliest Example

2008-11-13T15:55:00.000-08:00

The history of the Individual is hard to come by. Our earliest ancestors (including all Homo (genus) species) are known to be hunter-gatherers and communal. There is little evidence to suggest that the Individual existed in such societies and cultures that were very primal in nature.

If we look at the evolution of our species (Homo Sapiens) and the extinction of all other Homo (genus) species we catch a glimpse of the reasons for our survival. The one thing that truly distinguishes us is our relative brain size. This is the key to our survival. The ability to form abstract thoughts, identify emotions, critical cognitive analysis, etc. gave us the "upper-hand" and thus an ability to survive and expand our species across the globe. However, this advantage was most likely a disadvantage to the remaining Homo (genus) species as we were able to take control of more land and resources thus aiding their extinction (ironically as we still seem to do today).

If we take a look at the evolution of our species we see that there are several reasons for a social structure. The first is the notion that survival is in numbers. When large groups of Homo Sapiens gather together they are able to survive better. The ability to communicate would protect them from danger, teach them new ways to harvest and hunt, and to pass on these lessons generationally. A group is also strengthened by the variety of skills that can be honed by various physical and psychological types. These abilities were necessary for survival. Finally, the infant takes a long time to develop a body that is suitable to sustain the harshness of nature. Therefor, there must be caretakers. Caretakers cannot participate as fully for their own survival, thus they are dependent on a social system that protects and provides for them.

As society efficiency increased and the basics of survival were mastered, we were able to put more energy into our cognitive evolution. We became builders, crafters, weavers, cooks, bakers, poets, playwrights, song writers, musicians, sculptors, artists, governors, lawyers, philosophers, mathematicians, scientists, doctors, etc. We developed our minds beyond the bounds of survival and it is here that we begin to see the idea of the Individual take place.

The earliest "individual" was that of family/tribe/society. The society was the individual that we could identify with. We were "separate" from other groups. This separateness gave us reason to survive. So, we searched for ways to grow and strengthen our "individuality" through religion, government, territory, artistry, science, philosophy, and aggression/war. Basically, developing our "culture" to be different from the rest of the world.

Today we still practice this. We buy certain brands, support certain sports teams (usually to our death), hold citizenship in what we call "Individual Nation States", practice religion & spirituality, and affiliate with political parties. However, these individual groups have one thing in common, they are consisted of False Individuals and a small but certain number of these seek to break free of groups and be identified by their own merits.

It is these Individuals that "broke free" and had the courage to explore whom we would like to find in our quest for the Ideal Individual. The questions are; where does this need to break free come from (it certainly doesn't have an evolutionary basis) and how can the Ideal Individual be realized today?

In the next part we will look at the early stories, epics, and fables that first introduce us to the Individual. We will explore the value of an Individual to a society and the value of the individual in and of itself.

| Defining the Individual |

2008-11-08T18:05:00.001-08:00

It is necessary before we begin our study of the Individual that we come up with a definition of what the Individual is. We must take care to remember that this definition must have a foundation that is easy to identify at any point of the known chronological history of human kind. In other words, what applies today must essentially apply for yesterday and tomorrow.

Furthermore, we must remember that the Individual in it's truest form (what I call the True Individual), has no ties, connections, or conditions for existence beyond it's self. This conception is the realization that even a person acting as an individual in this world is not truely an individual because it relies on the balance of the universe and nature to secure it's existence.

In the writings of this certain observer, I shall refer frequently to three basic "types" of Individuals. They are: the True Individual, the Ideal Individual (for simplicity we refer to this as the Individual), and the False Individual.

First, we see that according to previous statements above, the True Individual is unattainable and almost incomprehensible for human beings and existence as we know it. One could argue it holds a place in the same philosophical category as god. For this reason we will limit our dialogue to the later two with rare/minimal reference to the first.

Second, the Ideal Individual is the pure concept of Individual, or the closest we can come to the True Individual, in the realm of our existence. When trying to conceptualize the Ideal Individual we must remember the limits of our existence in time, space and capacity. This will make it easier for discussion as we go deeper into the topic.

Third, the False Individual, is characterized by limited individualism due to the situations that restrict our expression of the True Individual and the Individual. Note that we could apply this term to the Ideal Individual in relation to the True Individual. However, it will be unnecessary as we will be restricting our arguments again, as far as possible, to the second and third categories.

Now, reader, we must construct our definition. We have already mentioned one aspect and that is that an Individual is "free", or is able to exist it's own (independent of assistance). I feel that this is essential to our construct and furthermore is applicable to our requirement of definition in past, present and future. This will make it much easier to identify as we explore.

But, what does this word "free" mean? Let us take the concept of "freedom" and see where it leads us... Freedom, in a very general definition, is being unbound and with the ability to exercising free will. With this in mind let us go into the philosophy of "freedom". There are and have been many philosophers which have discussed freedom as it relates to individuals and society. There is one in particular that I find interesting to assist us in understanding individual freedom, Isaiah Berlin.

What Isaiah Berlin gave us was the idea that freedom has two forms. Those are "freedom from" and "freedom to" which leads to his definitions of "positive" and "negative" freedoms. Now, I don't want to spend too much time going into this with you however, it is the most concise way of presenting the ideal to you. Therefore, let us allow ourselves to take these two forms and discuss them a little further.

First, I posit that the Individual is not necessarily always in a state of "freedom from". For example, she has no choice as to where, when or if she is born. So we see, she is already in a state of dependance beyond her control. Furthermore, she is bound to gravity, laws of physics, math, need of environment, need of sustenance, etc. and then again has no "freedom from". Therefore, I think, it is safe that we put aside "freedom from" as a required part of her definition.

Second, I posit that the Ideal Individual has "freedom to" and in deed is in constant search of this form. For example, she has freedom to express, act, think, question, cry, laugh, do, move, hold, give, love, swim, eat, sleep, and be at her will. She is not bound to anything except the limits that only the Universe and Ethics (we won't be going very deep into the limits of ethics/morals at this point however, we may want to revisit this in later discussion) can give. I further posit that this freedom is bestowed upon all no mater what lot of life they are presented with. The degree of which this "freedom to" will vary based upon the limits of "freedom from". We know that the "freedom to" can be limited by physical ailments and handicaps and are also hindered due to fear for one's integrity, property, life, family, social acceptance, social status, etc. But, keep in mind that the "freedom to" exists no matter how small the degree.

I assume, at this point (though we have not gone very deep into this topic), it would be safe to say that the Individual's freedom is the ability/realization to do what one chooses within their realm of limitations.

Another aspect of the Individual that I'd like to look at is the idea that an Individual is self sustaining. I feel that it is key to understand that the Ideal Individual in history was only able to emerge when it no longer had need of groups, partners, cities, etc. It was when one was able to fend for themselves that created the idea of her truest individuality. We'll look into this more keenly as we go into her history. However, I will say that in my studies, I have found that the Individual is, ironically, only able to come about when people have created a society that permits this. She is dependent on circumstances that have taken care of her to the point of realization and independent action. Once free, she is no longer bound. Even if her choice is to be bound again, it was essentially an individual choice. I would like to note that those who are bound physically to providers still maintain the Ideal Individual insofar as they are able. Again, this relates to the "freedom from" and "freedom to" principles. She exercises her freedom to think, create, express, etc without dependance on others.

Finally, let us review our construct. The Ideal Individual, her core, is her ability to know and exercise her freedom. She is also self-sustaining and has no need of outside assistance when exercising her freedoms. We will continue from this definition as we traverse the history of humanity and the Individual.

------------------

Note for the astute: We haven't included definitions which would illuminate the "class" of the Ideal Individual because this is an evolutionary aspect and not a foundational one. If you are impatient and would like more on these you will simply have to wait until we come to that point or you could go on your own, forming your own ideas and returning at a later date to see how we match up... the choice is yours (I'd go with the latter).

Obama | A Future Decided

2008-11-05T17:06:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I participated in the most historical event that is the turning point in the history of the US, when a "black man" was voted to be our next President. Yesterday democracy won. Yesterday we gathered together our voices and let the world know that we are united. Yesterday we voted for a government that allows compassion, unity, hope, freedom, peace, and prosperity to take center stage in the choices that will shape our future and the future of the world. Yesterday we sounded together our common belief that though our world, nation and spirits are damaged our hopes were not defeated. Yesterday we showed in a landslide victory that we can change our course and restore the dream that is America. A dream of life, liberty, and prosperity not just for some but for all human kind.

Today we begin a new era. An era of unity and possibility. Today we can breath again! Today we bare a new weight... not a weight of depression, fear or anxiety, but a weight of human responsibility. Today we know that the people have the power... that together we can still control our destiny. Today we can stand tall and proud. Today we have no shame. Today we see a new and broad horizon that inspires and gives strength. Today we let go of the ruins of the past and take our first steps into the future. A future that is ours... a future that we own... Thank you America and thank you Barack Obama.

| Individual Concepts | 001

2008-11-01T16:17:00.000-07:00

During the process of creating a contemporary concept of the Individual and researching the history of the individual, I will be posting my brief thoughts, ideals, conceptions, essays, and perceptions of the modern individual. What I'd like to post now are my most recent thoughts regarding relationships.

Relationships are varied in type, definition, attachment, and scope relative to the Individual's environment. The relationships of which I'll be referring to here is that of the romantic between two or more individuals, the Lover's Relationship. Before I begin, I'd like to add that these are only for those interested in exploring the Individual life path and are in no way meant to judge those who are contented, happy and fulfilled as married or as long term committed lovers. Many will argue for the benefits and beauties of such relations. I attempt to posit another theory that can be beautiful, beneficial, and fulfilling as well. Read on at your own will.

The reason I find the Lover's Relationship fascinating is due to the dual nature of defining individuals and uniting them. It almost appears to be antithetical that the Individual could ever be involved in such a relationship as they tend to encroach upon the definition. For example, the Individual dedicates her time to the purpose of perfecting her own person through study, creativity, work, and cognition. However, being in a relationship and/or the efforts to engage/maintain a relationship, takes her focus towards another. Oftentimes the individual is lost due to the demands of the relationship (i.e. meeting expectations, sacrificing opinions and thoughts, allowing another to influence and shape her, financial independence, expense stresses, sexual interaction, changes in behavior, etc.) and thus becomes a separate entity altogether. I call this entity the "False Individual".

Some may argue that the Individual can still be maintained in a romantic relationship so long as the individuals involved are allowed "freedom to be themselves". I argue that that is misleading due to the fact that in "allowing" another to be "free" indicates a power that is actually a bind to the Individual's true freedom. It implies that there is an agreement made which would mean that one agrees to be bound so long as it is loosely so (while this may work for those experimenting in the bedroom it doesn't work for the concept of the Individual). No matter how much room a bird has to fly in a cage, it's still in a cage. The relationship its self is always binding and offers no true Individual freedom, but, only a limited variation of it (further discussion on limited/false individualism will be presented in future discussions).

So, the question then is this; if human beings have desires to connect with others on deep, intimate, sexual, and spiritual levels how do they maintain the Individual while still fulfilling these? The answer is simple to state but, much more difficult to live. If you live a life dedicated to the progress of your own being you will find that love/romantic relationships are beautiful reflections of the love and respect that you have for yourself and others. Of course, being that free requires great emotional strength and great love for yourself.

Human beings have an innate sense to belong. To not be alone. To be taken care of. It's ingrained in our DNA and in our society. It's vital to "our" existence and survival. However, the Individual cannot and does not exist in this convention. For in it the Individual is lost and becomes part of the Whole experiencing the False Individual. Where people are praised or devalued by the group, thus effectively maintaining a false individual whose happiness and disappointments are contingent to the Whole.

Therefore, the Individual has an innate need to free themselves from others. It's primal for her existence. Once that is complete she is able to attract and combine in affairs of love that reflect the beauty of individuals. You will find people that are on the same path or cross your path. The time you spend together will be beautiful as long as you are willing to allow your paths to uncross and switch directions when the time comes. Such relationships require unselfishness, honesty and respect. I'll go into that further as you and I go into the Individual ideal in future discussions.

At this point the Whole is going through a million scenarios where this is unlikely to work or maybe unfair. It's true. From a certain standpoint it may seem unfair especially if you have never had a lover's relationship and there seems to be no future for one. This is, obviously, another cage... another false individual. To be an individual or to pursue the individual life you have to free yourself from the need to be with or validated by another. That's the hard part and also, the best part in discovering true individuality.

Thoughts on California.

2008-10-31T13:54:00.000-07:00

I've nearly just returned from a trip to California. I have to tell you, it's a great place with beautiful energy and grand people. I think I'd like to move out there for a while and experience life again.

I was born in San Diego and, growing up on the road, only returned for short periods of time with my family. I last went through California 6 years ago on a road trip through Baja (another great experience that I'm happy to share if you're interested), so it was a welcome experience to return again.

I went into LA and got a great feel for the people and the energy of the city. Compared to SLC, it is a much more open, lively, and creative culture. The people are healthy, active, and beautiful. I don't think I saw one person more than 5 pounds over-weight if at all. I really enjoy that scene.

But, I didn't stay long as we were headed to El Capitan Beach (just north of Santa Barbara) for 7 days of camping and exploring. The campsite was great and our site was inhabited by at least two doves that I saw regularly. The beach was also beautiful. Completely secluded with fine sand and alcoves of rock. Often times we were visited by pods of Dolphins and Pilot Whales. The only complaint is that the horizon has been scarred by off-shore oil rigs. I don't understand how anyone would want to ruin nature in such a way. It's time to become independent of fossil fuels, if only to preserve the natural beauty of our planet.

We did much exploring of the Pacific Coast and visited 12 wineries over the course of our stay. It was a great experience and I really enjoyed it. Almost inspired me to stay and open my own private vineyard... someday perhaps?...